Rant- It's nothing but gobbledegook to this journalist
English. Some call it the language of commerce. Most folks in this country speak it. But I sometimes wonder if people in the internet world learned it from a different textbook than I did. In what I’m sure will prove a vain effort to stop this language e-volution, I've compiled a top-10 list of words and phrases most overused and misused by the dot-coms that send me press releases:
10. Monetize: E-commerce startups seem to think it means “grab as much cash as you can before your investors figure out that your revolutionary e-commerce solution has about as much practical application as a Clapper-activated electric toothbrush.” The dictionary definition is “to coin money.” So, to avoid counterfeiting investigations, don’t use this word.
9. Deliverables: Are we talking babies here? Or do people find their products too embarrassing to mention by name?
8. Paradigms: What is this? A paradigm(s) still wouldn’t buy a cup of coffee or catch my attention in a press release.
7. B2C: Is this an acronym or the latest cheesy boy band?
6. Revolutionary: Even if half of today’s wannabe
5. E-everything: Is e-anything as e-annoying as the e-ubiquitous e?
4. Challenge: “Problem” is such a negative word, isn’t it?
3. Solutions: What flacks say when they don’t know
what else to say. Most
2. Turn-key solutions: I’m not really sure about
this one, but I think what
1. Leverage: Speaking as a purist, what the heck do
Please post this list in your office or cubicle, and anytime you feel the urge to use one of these words, envision your high-school English teacher rolling over in her grave.